that's mrs. mediocrity to you

Today I am over at Vision & Verb

whining about learning to embrace

a couple of wrinkles.

But only a couple, the rest of them can

…oh, nevermind.

dancing spots of light and echoes of cathedral
whispering of things
i never learned

evening draws near once again
sunsets in february
so melodramatic

all pretty and loud but still frozen,
lacking any sense
of the ethereal

there,
the real,
ether

all words that live inside another
the way these spots of light
live inside a shadow

a pew inside a church

a heart inside a life

::

One month into 2011, what question(s) are you living?

::

One month into the new year and pretty much all I have are questions. Questions and questions that fall from my shoulders
all throughout the day, until I end up with a little pile at my feet.

When they get to be too much, I kick them away under the desk, under the bed, out of sight, but the next day, before I’m even finished with my first cup of tea, a new pile starts to form.

Sometimes I try to pull one out, thinking I can find an answer. But they are like pick-up sticks, it’s hard to move one without upsetting the whole pile, and then they’re all going to start rolling around and it will be a big mess all over again. So mostly I just let them be.

Because, of course, some of them are perfectly good questions.

And even when I figure out the answer to one and it dissolves away into dust (you know that’s where dust bunnies come from, right?),
a new one crops up to take its place. Sometimes two new ones.
They multiply like bunnies, too.

But really, that’s okay, because I don’t live the questions…

I live the answers.

.

{reverb10} check it out here

_One month into 2011, what question(s) are you living? Are there any
prompts/questions that arose during #reverb10 that are still resonating in

your life? Are you living new questions?

periwinkle exists

but only in my imagination.

green sifts through my dreams

flirting with my senses

a tease.

pink stays close by

just under my nose

where i can’t see it.

yellow and gold

have been forgotten.

violet winds its way

into my heart.

promises,

promises.

:

this post is part of one shot wednesday

Because it felt like the right tree at the time. But then, one day, you find out that it wasn’t, that you were supposed to be barking up an entirely different tree, the one with the cat really stuck high up there in the branches.

And that changes everything.

So you look around, find another tree. A tree that definitely has a cat in it. And you bark and you bark and you bark, and still, nothing happens.

You change your strategy.

First you stop barking and just stare. Then you pretend to look away, at other things. Later, you sit, glancing up every so often to make certain the cat is still there. Later still, you lie down, fall asleep, forget to watch for the cat at all.

Or maybe you don’t forget, but instead, you multi-task. You keep one eye open, just a crack, in case the cat makes a break for it. But then you don’t get any good sleep and that makes you cranky.
Plus, you’re getting hungry. Really hungry.

And that makes you stand up and start barking all over again.

It’s an endless, vicious cycle.

The cat, of course,

just smiles.

::

there is both

more

and less

time

than you think.

::

a clock that ticks in my ear, mocking.

a bell that echoes down an empty hall.

a mirror that stands propped against a curtain.

a velvet dress that has yet to be worn.

:

a smile on a face that dreams of silence.

a bird that sings to the almost dawn.

a wind that howls though no one listens.

a tear that falls from an eye, half-open.

:

and this moon that taps on my window.

beckoning,

or seeking warmth.

Two good things:

First, today, I am over at Vision & Verb thinking about abandoning my first word of 2011, which was balance, and maybe, just maybe, adopting a new one. Since I keep writing about hope–sorry, but it just keeps popping up–I’m starting to think it was supposed to be my word in the first place…

::       ::       ::

And second, over the past week, several people were sweet enough to bestow upon me the Stylish Blogger award. I am honored, truly, and grateful and blushing. Thank you, Stephanie, Emily and Stereo! So, I am supposed to link back to these wonderful new friends, tell you seven things about myself, and then pay this award forward to five recently discovered blogs.

Okay, so here goes, seven things about me:

1.  I have six cats and a dog. If you already know me, this is not big news, but since some of you are new here, I figured it would be best to get it all out in the open, again. In case, you know, you are allergic or something.

2. Chocolate, roasted red peppers, broccoli and zucchini are my favorite foods. In that order.

3. I read a lot, I am always busy, I am never bored and I’m always crazy (see #1). Not necessarily in that order.

4. Alaska is the place I most want to visit before I die. Not from a cruise ship. From somewhere smack dab in the middle. Of nowhere. (Oh, this is probably the right time to mention that I am a hermit, in case you don’t know that yet, either.)

5. I’m a romantic at heart, an idealist by nature and a purist by design. Except sometimes I’m not any of those things. And sometimes I am their opposites.

6. When I was young, I wanted to be pretty much who I am now. Go figure.

7. I’m really good at building fires, (the legal kind, of course!) and even better at sitting it front of them.

So there you have it. Now for five recently discovered blogs…

Besides the three wonderful people that passed this award to me, here are a few of my newest reads:

Mujerzen’s Blog

Elizabeth Deacon Photography

a muse

Andrea Maurer, Storyteller

Krista Kruger Photography

But whether you are recently discovered, or have already become an old friend, you know I love you all, right?

i am empty

i am open

i am waiting.

in this place

of impatience

trying hard

to be patient.

i am vessel

i am basket

i am bowl.

air spins round

inside me

cyclone of promise

taking up space

present

but not quite

there.

i am empty

i am open

i am waiting.

Okay, so clearly, I am in a rut.

And if I keep walking in it, I will only make it deeper.

I need to gather myself and jump up and out, up over that edge I can barely reach.

The thing is, I’m very clumsy and I’m probably going to slide back in, several times.

So I keep waiting. First I say I will try it after I do this thing, and then I think I will wait and do it after that thing, or when I am here, or after I’m done with this.

This is how the days keep getting past me.

See? I’m actually starting to figure a couple of things out. I have to stop waiting. For anything. Waiting just adds to the problem. I need to be climbing, scrambling, building a ladder, planting trees, or digging steps in the sides of this cave.

Something.

And I need to look up. I keep forgetting that part. Well, hey, it’s slippery in winter, you need to watch where you are going so you don’t fall down.

But what if I do fall down?

Is that the question?