these days
my time is turned
paying tribute
to lives lost
or never realized
dreams
a heart wove
as you
shoveled sand
into hourglass
of promise
and empty
all the while
pretending
not to notice
the mountain
you were melting
and mostly
it’s all just air
resting ripe in a bowl
far too damaged
for kintsugi
rift-silent and
hover proud
waiting
[still]
and open
always open
for repair
.
.
i’ve got all these pieces
shard sharp and jagged edged
heart blood dark
and silence hole
splayed across
this worn wood floor
tracing steps and trapped pretension
as it all rolls uphill
sideways
mirror mirror
pasted smile
fallen glimpses in the corner of reflection
shape shifting
loose oil carnage
and the dream I had
before
our room filled with smoke
my mind-body
shaking us both awake
certain there was fire
i still see the haze each midnight
floating right
above the quilt
i bought
to shelter the you
(or me)
i can never quite
remember
.
into the bedroom
burrow deep into a dream
reminisce with my lost dark side
build long bridges to the past
wander boldly through a labyrinth
of strange rooms
i may redecorate
one corner of my psyche
add some art, fresh journals,
a book on the sibilance of silence
paint a sunrise in each window
moon hung high upon one wall
weave flowers through each door frame
music breathing from the floor
fix tea and toast and nectarines
for every endless meal
watch swallows flitting in and out
bits of sky caught in their tails
think i’ll move
into the bedroom
burrow deep
into a dream
float through brief moments of survival
built on colors from a stream
::
of cold
spinning deep down orders
to watch and warble and
listen
the way you stand there, alone, in a memory
of sanctitude
as if
as if
as is
forgiveness is the penny with no shine
worth next to nothing ’til you save it up
build a bright copper mountain
watch sleet coat the north
with patina
so much patience, required
this bold gift of living
inhale
over there, the beast just keeps rising
sun-gold and heat brittle branches
painting red a beginner’s horizon
luck is the path,
compass forbidden
embark, unmoored
stand frozen,
arrested
these clouds all smell
of winter
exhale
…
and i carried silence
limbs crashed as everyone watched
gladiator gold and cold blue judgment
but it tell you, i buried the seeds.
tending was a way of life
and you left me to it
watering
feeding
trimming fat
from bone
it’s not the burnished quiet
that destroys me
it’s the wind echo
petrified singing
cracking hope clear through
those
ring-counted hard-growth years
the sunset stays the same
holding space for another
tomorrow.
all i want is the gift
of a bare sapling
backlit
horizon
…
the squirrel in the tree
i almost can’t see
racing hard
against gravity’s sunrise
hurry hurry
mask survival
in the distance
screams of geese
folding wings
to cold dark water
ever-floating
weary bones
through a litany
of maps
named somewhere
we’re all hearing
the same bold song
set loose
in a blistering sky
all huddled for warmth
beneath fleece
or feather
the ogre
and the ingenue
wrapped together
in the velvet clip
of silence
listening
release the girl you buried in sand
the broken mug you carried in hand
release the sun you held like rain
the bitter voice that slipped your name
release the carry
the call
the fall
release the heartbreak
of us all
release the truth you thought you knew
release the lies that no one threw
release the center
raw and runny
release the words that can’t be funny
release the cry
the sigh
the tarry
release the rhyme
the time
the merry
release the weight that broke your bones
release the scars carved from stone
release the hate
the love
the fear
release the flaws
that brought you here
…
because all the mirrors
are broken
and your reflection
always hung
slightly crooked
framed by deckled edge
and past perturbance
and i
forever-settled
for the spot-speckled
lower left corner
while you took
center stage
with your soliloquy
of silence
and today I’m at the edge
of waves and water
water and waves
rolling sound and
rumbling cloud
tumble stumble
roam-rambling
around and around
and around
bent clock chiming
a litany of blue
false mirror memories
written only in sand
waves and water
water and waves
wearing down bone-sharp corners and
twisted-knife wounds
bash-crashing
ripple dancing
up the coast of blind deception
drowning out the sound
of simple silence
concealed in the shade
of broken boulders
pounding
washing
polishing
clean
these broken-tainted
pickled ghosts
drinking rich
from thirst’s existence
…
windows
wide open
for a moment
of fresh
inhale
exhale
bounce off
horizon
bird song dawn
and sunset singing
we’re all here
spreading green
it’s all new
all old
the same
same
circle
always here
lending
a hand
…
