Dec 7 2012

oh, this one’s easy…

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simply this.

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Reverb 12/Cultivate 2012:

What’s the one thing you want to take with you into 2013?

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Dec 6 2012

on dropping the ball

2012 was the year of discarding.

It was amazing how good that felt, amazing how opening up a little physical space in my life made my mind open up a bit as well.

Of course, it wasn’t just things that I let go of, it was also ideas. Perfection was at the top of the list, followed by the notion of being caught up. I also tossed some fear to the wind and watched it fly away, despite the fact that it kept telling me those wings were broken.

Truth is, I tossed with abandon.

I threw out boxes of things and bags of possessions. I flung words into every corner and watched them wrestle. I hurled old hurts into the fire, and grudges got the boot.

And then I opened my arms wide and embraced the sky.

My hands are empty, but my heart is not.

I became a gypsy.

Well, okay, not exactly.

But you know what I mean.

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Reverb 12/Cultivate 2012:

What do you need to let go of to cultivate your best life in 2013?

What did you learn?

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Dec 5 2012

i hope you dance, too.

In thinking about what lesson really jumped out at me this past year, the word that kept popping into my mind was dance. And I don’t mean I took dance lessons, I mean, I danced.

Oh there were other lessons, I learned that discarding is a beautiful thing, that time is more valuable than money, that space, empty space, doesn’t always need to filled. I learned how to let go and how to hold on, how to be strong and how to be open, the importance of forgiveness and the impossibility of tomorrow. I learned that I still have so very much to learn.

But mostly, I danced.

Beneath the moon and out in the sun, while I washed dishes and vacuumed the floor, in my mind and in my heart and everywhere I went, I danced. With trees and flowers, birds and butterflies, snowflakes and smiles.

I danced while I worked, I danced while I ran, I danced while planting tiny seedlings.

I twirled and turned, bent and dipped, waltzed and two-stepped. (I even kicked and stretched like Sally O’Malley in the parking lot of the mall to make my mom and sister laugh – but that’s a whole different story.)

In the fall, after I had been sick with the flu and stuck inside forever, I went to walk with my husband and son one day while they golfed. And way across on the other side of the course, I spotted this dancing leaf girl, some crazy vine gone wild in the untended edge of the rough.

She’d been out there the whole time, holding my place.

And then I knew that I was just exactly where I was supposed to be at that moment, beneath that endless bowl of sky, pirouetting in the golden glint of sun.

I danced all the way home.

I’m dancing, still.

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Reverb 12/Cultivate 2012:
What lesson really jumped out at you this year? How can you cultivate that lesson going forward?

What was your dream destination in 2012 and why? ?

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Dec 3 2012

the patterns of time

Time marks its own passing on all of our faces.

This year, my father turned 75, my mother turned 70, and both my husband and I turned 50. It was a milestone year when it comes to time, recorded with pictures and parties and trips and love.

I gave myself the gift of more time this year, cutting the number of jewelry shows we did in half, giving me more hours to spend outside in my garden, one of my favorite places to be.

I also made friends with time. I stopped fighting it, racing it, cursing it, and I started embracing it.

It is, after all, not time’s fault that we cannot bottle it and save it up for later, not time’s fault that gravity wins and bones grow brittle. Not time’s fault that we do too much and relax too little.

So did I spend my time wisely this year? Absolutely.

I celebrated every breath I took, every sunrise I saw, every midnight moon that called me outside. I saw the most amazing comet sear across the sky as I sat shivering beneath a quilt, I ran seven miles for the first time in two years one hot summer day, I started flowers from seed and watched them cycle through life.

There were family parties and quiet dinners, summer picnics and holiday feasts. Toasts were made and hugs were given.

We don’t spend time the way we spend money, we can’t bank it or save it or even give it away. We take what we get and then it is gone, and we are changed forever by the stamp of each passing moment.

Time moves through us, weaving its own plaids and patterns, creating an endless swath of fabric that waves in the breeze of who we are.

Fluttering, ever so slightly with each inhale, exhale, inhale.

Time is life.

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Somehow, at my birthday party, we failed to take a photo of me and my parents together. So my mom asked if she and my dad could stop by on my birthday to record the moment. I detest having my picture taken, and never, ever like photos of myself. But I have to say, I don’t hate this one, and I am posting it here as a surprise for my mom.

And yes, I am in my pajamas. I could have changed, but somehow, this seemed just right.

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Reverb 12/Cultivate 2012:
Did you spend your time wisely this year?

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