standing on the edge
of altercation

Prepared to run, poised for flight, yet standing my ground. The sky grows dark with words that flit by with the silence of bats, words used, expelled, offered in place of all I cannot give. The earth rumbles with those I’ve yet to speak.

I want to remember tomorrow before it happens and dream of yesterday’s chance. I want to be the bird that lands last. I want to sing with the abandon of loss.

Instead, I reach my arms high and offer sanctuary, spreading branches like wings and roots like scrabbling claw feet. I am sharp-edged and hollow-toed. I am filled with echoes.

I dreamt of you again last night, fooled myself into seeing you again, but even my dream felt the need to remind me that you are gone. And even in sleep I wondered if this is the way it will always be, and I spent the rest of the night wandering lost from room to room in a house built from memories of places I’ve never been.

We were there, together, just for a moment. Before I remembered.

Mostly, I’ve come to understand that the questions will never be answered. Mostly, I’ve come to embrace the lack of knowing. I am content to wander through this field of grass and bird and flailing branch. The wind is a challenge to stay upright, my map has sailed high into clouds of disdain.

.

And we laughed again
at free falling bottles and
broken stars. We laughed.

.

.

Joining in today over at dVersePoets with a Haibun, using Kahlil Gibran’s quote: “Yesterday is but today’s memory, and tomorrow is today’s dream.” as inspiration.

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20 Responses to “standing on the edge
of altercation”

  • Kathryn Dyche Dechairo Says:

    Such an inspired write . . . love the images you convey with your descriptions. I am that person with branches like wings and roots like scrabbling claw feet 🙂

  • Mary Says:

    This is very poignant, Kelly. The line between what is real and what is dreamed is sometimes very thin. But in those dreams is it nice to be there with them just for a moment and have it feel real before remembering. And the laughter in your haiku rings loudly…I can hear it…I can hear it!

  • Grace Says:

    What a poetic prose from the personification of sky, earth, bird to memories of the past, long gone ~ I specially admire this part:

    I am sharp-edged and hollow-toed. I am filled with echoes.

    A treat to read you this morning Kelly ~

  • Bjorn Says:

    This is most excellent.. the loss that we hear from sky and nature, the unwillingness to face the truth of loss… your prose is perfect for both the picture and the quote.

    “I want to remember tomorrow before it happens and dream of yesterday’s chance”

    Such a powerful wish.

  • Grace Black Says:

    The last paragraph in the prose segment hit home. This was an emotive, well-penned haibun!

  • Buddah Moskowitz Says:

    So poignant. There is such yearning, esp in the quick dissolve of a dream. Wonderful.

  • Sumana Roy Says:

    ” I am content to wander through this field of grass and bird and flailing branch.” love this contentment and the exquisite haiku….

  • KATiE MiA FredericK!iI Says:

    As a younger man thiN
    and fast runninG flighT
    As an older man thicK
    and strong fighting fighT..
    As a free maN
    BotH
    N0W..

    LiFe fliGht
    fiGht
    rUns fLy..:)

  • Nato Says:

    That was so utterly beautiful!

  • kanzensakura Says:

    Love the imagery in this. The personification of nature. Poignant and yet, there is laughter here as well!

  • Susan Says:

    Those first words … prepared to run, poised for flight … my life, especially this time of the year. Delicious words and image, as always.

  • Gayle Walters Rose Says:

    “Mostly, I’ve come to understand that the questions will never be answered. Mostly, I’ve come to embrace the lack of knowing”…resignation here brings a grounding to the wanting to take flight. And I wonder at that laughing…

  • X Says:

    Nice move from nature to personal and back again. The most compelling part to me was the wanting to be a bird, but being okay with being a tree – a place where birds can gather – and you can still be connected to them.

  • Sherry Blue Sky Says:

    “wandering…in a house built from memories of places I’ve never been”….wow. Your writing is truly wonderful. I LOVE “I want to be the bird that lands last.” Gorgeous haiku!

  • Suzanne Says:

    There is a calm acceptance in your story but I do hope you find a way to laugh again.

  • Glenn Buttkus Says:

    This is one of your strongest & best poems. You excel with a haibun. The prose is so very poetic that with a few line breaks it would take a poetic form. When I dream of lost loved ones, they just appear within the mundane or absurd context of the dream. My mother has been gone since 1966, so somehow while dreaming, I’m acutely aware of how special her visit always is. Grace always picks the same lines I do to highlight (similar mind sets). But I really dig that /I m filled with echoes/. Your haiku is killer too.

  • Hannah Gosselin Says:

    Powerful haibun…especially, for me, this:

    “I want to remember tomorrow before it happens and dream of yesterday’s chance. I want to be the bird that lands last. I want to sing with the abandon of loss.”

    Remember tomorrow before it happens…I love that…speaks to the author’s deep longing to hold on to memories, I think.

  • Rosemary Nissen-Wade Says:

    A wonderfully evocative and intriguing haibun.

  • humbird Says:

    Ah, I feel some influence of celtic culture, some sacrificing for truth, esp. in the paragraph about the tree…we often do this offering in desire to get clarity and reward…but the reward I guess – the lesson…and we can’t control the outcome of any experience in our life…just remember the feeling …nice thoughtful expression…

  • Hannah Gosselin Says:

    “Instead, I reach my arms high and offer sanctuary, spreading branches like wings and roots like scrabbling claw feet. I am sharp-edged and hollow-toed. I am filled with echoes.”

    All of this is wonderful but for me, this portion really captured me. Such an excellent and engaging haibun!

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