blackbird, fly

I thought these were red-winged blackbirds, but they’re not. I thought winter would be over by now, but it’s not. I thought I would be finished with my Hemingway project by now, but I’m not.

I have made it to A Moveable Feast, which is actually one of my favorites. And I laughed out loud last night when I read this sentence: “In those days, though, the spring always came finally
but it was frightening that it had nearly failed.”

This from a book that was written before I was born, printed when I was two.  Some things really are universal, seemingly endless winters being one of them. I heard the other day that we have had 118 inches of snow this year. But it would take four more feet to break the record. Clearly, it could be worse.

And so life goes on, those birds will come, this winter will end, my brain fog will lift. I will stop whining (I promise) and things will be fine. Things are fine, I know that, really. I have little to complain about and much to be grateful for. I haven’t forgotten that, not completely, it is just something that keeps hiding in the dusty grey corners of my mind.

But with spring comes spring cleaning,that deep down get the cobwebs out and the sparkle on kind of cleaning, and I intend to apply this to my brain as well as my house. What’s good for one can’t hurt the other.

In the meantime, I’m planning on faking it, plastering a big giant smile on my face, even if I have to hold it on with tape. Because sometimes, when you fake something like a smile, you actually start to feel happy. It’s true, you should try it. Go ahead, giggle a little.

I’m going to find things to laugh about, play music I can dance to, skip around my house like a little girl. If anyone sees me they will think I’m crazy, but it’s just me and all these cats, and well, okay, I am a little crazy. Stir crazy at the very least.

And then I’m going to close my eyes and pretend there are flowers in my garden and crickets chirping beneath my window and warm breezes fluttering fingertips over my skin. Hey, there’s nothing wrong with a little pretending every now and then, right?

I just have to exercise my imagination a little, it’s been dormant for a while, it’s out of shape and a little logey (which I find to be the funniest of words). I might even imagine myself climbing that tree and tickling those birds who turned out to be starlings, or perhaps, since this is my imagination, I’ll  turn them into blue birds and goldfinches and even a hummingbird or two.

Okay let’s not get carried away.

Maybe just robins.


15 Responses to “blackbird, fly”

  • Debi Says:

    robins will do, i think. spring is always tied to their tail feathers. some years the string with which it is tied is just longer than other years, but you are almost there.

  • Jillsy Girl Says:

    Whatever they are, the image is absolutely breathtaking! Love the processing!

    A little imagination never hurts, it’s the engine of creativity!

  • Roberta Warshaw Says:

    Even if they are not redwing blackbirds, that is a gorgeous photo. And you are not the only one whining, believe me. I wake up everyday trying to find something to smile about. March does not make me smile, except for last Sunday when it was 60 degrees. Like it or not, summer is what it is going to take to make me happy now.

  • Graciel @ Evenstar Art Says:

    the Hemingway quote stopped me!
    and my god, your words are spectacular!
    i join you in faking it.

    xo

  • beth Says:

    i was just told that it’s not a robin that let’s us know spring is here, but it’s when the red winged black birds return….did you know that ?

    love the photo…..

  • Brooke Farmer Says:

    Amazingly, the act of forcing yourself to smile actually does make you happier. There’s tons of research about it. There is some physiological response triggered by using those muscles that actually does cheer you up.

  • Kathryn Says:

    I bought a hula hoop the other day in an attempt to make myself smile. I have to say it does make me giggle even if only tempoarily. Today’s another wet, gloomy grey day, I’m longing for butterflies and hummingbirds. :0)

  • Angela Says:

    Here in South Florida I confess I am hoping for one more tiny cold front to bring nighttime 50s. But your writing is gorgeous as always. And I love the word “logey”–works in any weather.

  • MrsPsychoMama (Linda) Says:

    What a lovely image. I couldn’t stop staring. I completely agree with the fake the funk mentality, as long as it’s not colliding w denial.

    Growing up in Southern Cali, I can’t imagine what it would be like to live through this recent weather in the affected 2/3 of the country.

    I don’t remember the source, but I like to remind myself “this too shall pass.”

    Hope spring comes quickly, and the robin sightings plentiful:)

  • Frida Says:

    Oh there are some signs of spring up here and I can’t wait 😉

  • Chantal Says:

    Love the image a lot, great texture on the background

  • prairiegirl Says:

    i thought i would be out of my pjamas by now, but i’m not …
    cuz it is raining on the mounds of too much snow on our prairies …
    and following is a blizzard and temps dropping way too low tonight …

    but! officially spring is only days away now …
    so yup … i am with you … i can fake it …
    i think i can i think i can i think i can …

    xoxo
    pg

  • Barbara Says:

    I say imagine them all – what can it hurt? I’m ready for some spring cleaning, inside and out, myself. Direly needed!

  • emma Says:

    Moveable Feast is by far my favorite Hemingway – worth savoring and rereading many times.

    And I sooo get the sentiment.

    Love the photo. Did you use an app or do post tweaking?

  • Stereo Says:

    Fake it til you make it. Right there with you, Kelly. ♥

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