mixed-up confusion

i am sitting in my garden, and two seagulls just flew over my head.
i don’t live near the water. well, okay, i live near a swamp, but since when do seagulls hang out in swamps?

it is late september and it is 89 degrees. the flowers left in my garden look sad and wilted. well, they’ve looked sad all year, neglected, battling weeds. but 89 on Sept. 24th?

i played hooky today, but i didn’t do the things i most wanted to do, run, and work in said garden. i did a whole lot of nothing that led to more nothing and then the day was gone and i was here, sitting in my garden watching seagulls fly over my head.

a monarch butterfly is playing hide and seek in the anemones, flying lazy and happy in this heat. that’s kind of how i feel.

tomorrow it is supposed to be 59 degrees. thirty degrees cooler in
24 hours. that has happened several times this summer. 30 degrees of separation from one day to the next.

the air is very still just now, no breeze, but no humidity either, so
89 degrees feels pretty nice.

tonight i’m going to sit out here by the outside fire and drink wine and eat homemade pizza, much like every other friday night. i never work on friday nights, even if i work around the clock the rest of the week.

and then i might go inside to watch a movie, though that depends on too many things to be a certainty.

but that’s okay, because, just now,

i’m not looking for certainty.

9 Responses to “mixed-up confusion”

  • Debi Says:

    This image is me right now – my heart soft & reaching – and really, just those flowers almost made me cry. I feel a kinship. And then I read your tale of the day and the kinship grew. Sometime in the last couple of years we looked up and there was a flock of seagulls overhead, blown off course, we assumed, by a hurricane. They were headed north, inland, and I always wondered when they changed course and headed back out to the Gulf. Perhaps they just stayed on a northern course, visiting lakes, and perhaps a couple made their way eventually to you. I like to think that.

  • Kate Says:

    It was 95 here yesterday and the air was thick with humidity. Awful. And then last night, it changed. I couldn’t sleep and was up until 2:30, sitting outside underneath the moonlight and letting the soft breeze lull me into a state of complacency. Right now I’m taking a cleaning break and from where I sit, I can see at least 20 of those damn stinkbugs on the inside of my window. I hate those effers (sorry).
    Beautiful imagery here. Love that gorgeous photo.

  • Skye Says:

    Yes, the ability to just sit, enjoy, take the beauty that arrives, then go inside for a movie…*happy sigh* That’s my kind o’ life!!
    Enjoy the cool air there today.
    I am heading out in the muggy heat to do yard work…Whee.

  • Sally G. Says:

    So, if you watched a movie – what did you watch?

    I read two blog posts this week (actually, I read LOTS of blog posts this week – thank you Debi! but two relate directly to your thought here) – one was about dancing with Uncertainty, and the other was a message from a Monarch Butterfly.

    The author in question had a dream that disturbed her, and while walking in the woods nearby, two Monarch butterflies landed on a tree branch in front of her.

    She asked them what her dream meant – and they told her it was about Death and Transition. This meant everything to her – because she’d been dancing with Uncertainty so long, she realized that she needed to release her ‘former Self’ and all that was holding onto … and truly face forward into the next transition, knowing that the best of all she is would walk forward with her.

    Not sure if this applies to your life situation right now or not – but I felt compelled to share it with you.

  • Jillsy Says:

    I, too, have seen seagulls far away from the sea. It’s always a surprise. But, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a monarch in my neck of the woods. Lucky you!

    I must be slow…I just realized you and the blue muse are one in the same. duh.

  • Brenda Kula Says:

    I love the way your words just flow, meandering like water in rivulets down a road. Your life sounds kind of like mine. Solitary, basking in peace.

  • joanna jenkins Says:

    A thirty degree swing in one day. Wow– Tis the season I guess.
    Cheers, jj

  • Kathryn Says:

    Feel like I’m there with you, we had record breaking temps this past week for this time of year (just shy of 100F). We had some rain today and it’s supposed to cool off this coming week, can’t wait.

  • Marcie Says:

    We’ve had the exact same weather pattern. Yesterday – was hot and humid..today is overcast..cool..even a little rainy. A welcome change. Isn’t the unpredictable uncertainty lovely???

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