this is my brain on pain

flashing light, blinding flare, this glare that burns. migraine.

pounding, pounding, peck peck pecking away at my sanity.

pain that will not stop, does not cower, will not leave.

pain uninvited, not wanted, not welcome, yet here.

my head in a vice grip. won’t let go.

pain that leaves me wasted, limp, sore,

run over. paralyzed.

i lay on the couch, afraid to move.

i watch from a tiny pinhole of awareness.

i am still, so still, any movement excruciating.

quiet light burns holes in my retina.

tiny sounds detonate bombs in my brain.

i wait and i wait and i think and i think. and i wait.

there is nothing else to do.

it is minutiae, amplified, one million times.

it is crushing fever, knife pain, white hot.

it is brutality, unleashed in my skull.

and then it is gone.

an ugly memory.


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16 Responses to “this is my brain on pain”

  • Debi Says:

    i read this with my arms folded across my chest, my eyes narrowed against the harsh light coming from these words. leaning away from the computer. i cannot imagine. xoxo

  • Kathryn Says:

    Oh sweetheart . . . I suffer with crazy migraines and know all too well how excruciatingly painful they can be. Hope it passes soon. Hugs.

  • beth anne Says:

    You ‘nailed’ a migraine perfectly. No one can fully appreciate how a migraine incapicates you, until he/she experiences one. I’ve been there—not fun.

  • Skye Says:

    Oh, Kelly, I am sorry that you have to deal w/ migraines, but this picture is spot on, & the written piece is the most perfect (&, oddly beautiful) description I’ve ever seen or heard.
    Hope all the residuals are gone today & you are feeling wonderful again!

  • in the hush of the moon Says:

    oh friend… i felt your pain. only i know i didn’t, because it’s so much worse than i can imagine… my husband gets these, and they knock him cold for a day or two. i’m so sorry you get them too.. you write about it with such raw beauty though. thank you for linking today. i love the photo…

  • Nana Says:

    Oh, I would take it from you if I could…

  • Kim Says:

    I’m so sorry. I’ve only had two migraines in my life, but they were enough to give me a glimpse of the suffering you and so many live with. Your pain evoked so well(?) in words gives me gratitude for what I take for granted and compels me to pray for those who suffer. Thank you.

  • Amy Says:

    I have never had a migraine, but between my own brand of debilitating pain and your stark, vivid description, I can empathize very well, I think. But of course I have no idea what to say, because it is not the type of thing that one can soothe with words or hugs or well wishes. But know that you have all those things anyway, from the bottom of my heart.

  • jillsy Says:

    i am so glad i have never suffered from migraines. i can’t even imagine.

  • kamana Says:

    i can relate to this… having suffered migraines as a child.

  • Mrs. Mediocrity Says:

    Thanks to everyone for your kind thoughts and wishes…just that helps.

  • Marcie Says:

    You’ve painted a visual for the pain you’re feeling with your words. Extraordinary!! And – I hope you’re feeling better…

  • Graciel @ Evenstar Art Says:

    the most beautiful, love-filled hands, with gentle strength, cradle your head. they send amethyst light flowing into your brain. they hold you and hold you until the little girl is soothed and remembers she is worthy and loved and perfectly perfect just as she is.


  • beth Says:

    i have suffered for years with these nasty little buggers….
    do you have a prescription you take ?

    actually, the acupuncturist has helped me the most 🙂

  • Lisa's Chaos Says:

    Oh my! You did a great job of sharing the visual of a migraine! I haven’t had one in ages and would be happy to keep it that way. Hoping by now you’re feeling better.

  • whollyjeanne Says:

    okay, i’ll say it: that’s the kind of thing i’d wish on a short list of others . . . but never on you.

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