this sucks. or rather,
it doesn’t.

Apparently I’ve done something to anger the appliance gods.

I’ve already mentioned a few times that I have 4 cats. And a dog. Which also means that I have lots of hair. Lots. Really, seriously, lots. As in I can’t go anywhere without checking my butt first….

So, I vacuum a lot. Pretty much every day.

I have a big vacuum. It weighs about 200 pounds. Okay that’s an exaggeration, but it is heavy. It’s a model made specifically for pet hair, with this cute little attachment that gets the stuff off your couch, chairs, butt, etc. When I first got it, I loved it. And it does a really good job, but it’s heavy and cumbersome and loud and all the animals hate it. Still, I lug it out once a week and move the furniture in search of hair balls and let me tell you…they are everywhere. And it takes me about two hours to find them all.

I used to sweep every day in between, which, by the way, is not at all effective against hairballs. Because they just dance around the broom and laugh at you. It’s true. I’ve heard them.

Then, about a year and a half ago, I came across the latest, greatest thing: a cordless stick vac. Now if you are not yet at a certain age, you probably don’t understand what it is to get jumping-up-and- down excited about an appliance. But all I can say is… just wait. You will.

And I fell in love with this one. This appliance literally changed my life. It was love at first use. Oh yeah, I said that. This little baby can zip around the whole house in 15 minutes, it doesn’t break my back, and it works almost as well as the big monster. (Except for edges and corners.) And so, my love affair began… I’ve used it every day for a year and a half. Fifteen minutes to a cleaner house (in my “good enough” kind of way)… and swooning I was, swooning.

I still get the big monster out once a week. Last Sunday, just as I was finishing up, I started to smell burning rubber. It was bad. And then, right there before my eyes, the monster ceased to function. I cursed, took it apart, couldn’t see a problem, tried again, cursed some more. Nothing. Except burning rubber.

I said, “Okay, Mr. M., time for a new vacuum.” Thinking I could tide myself over with my little friend until I get a new one. But then it happened. Yesterday, sniff, sniff… my favorite appliance of all time stopped working as well. Again, took it apart. Again, nothing. My heart…er, hoover, is broken.

Stellaaaaaa! I mean, Hooverrrrrrr!

And this is the part where I also have to mention that in between the Death of Two Vacuum Cleaners, three light bulbs blew, my ipod stopped working, and now my thermostat is on the fritz.

What is going on around here? What have I done to so anger the appliance gods? I treated them with kindness. I charge the batteries religiously. I clean the filters. I put them away after every use. Oh, what have I done?

I’m not sure, but as my mom would say, (and pardon my French):

“That’s enough to piss off the Good Humor man.”

14 Responses to “this sucks. or rather,
it doesn’t.”

  • Tracy Says:

    Oh boy… that stinks.

    Hmm. Maybe you are giving off some strange electro-energy vibes that keep zapping your appliances!

  • beth Says:

    oh NO NO NO…..I freak when things I need break or stop functioning….in fact, the mental ward had a room waiting for me when the washing machine decided to keep its dirty water and not drain it…..

    I will say a prayer for you…..I promise !

  • Debi Says:

    Something in the air – it’s not you. I dropped my camera today, watched it tumble from my arms onto the concrete below, slow motion before my eyes as the lens smacked down, bounced a bit back up and them smacked down again. My heart almost stopped, but the camera is fine. Ditto lens. Which means . . . hmmmmm . . . well . . . never mind.


    • Mrs. Mediocrity Says:

      Oh, I am glad that your camera is okay, i would so miss your wonderful images! It is definitely something in the air…

  • Kiki Farmer Says:

    Dear Devine Mrs. M, Your photos look like what I see in my mind. Like brain pictures (only I don’t mean that to sound as clinical or icky as it reads) I don’t know if that makes sense. Being camera and photography impaired limits my vocab to technically describe what I mean. Let’s just say they are lovely and I connect with them somehow. Thanks for sharing them.

    • Mrs. Mediocrity Says:

      Well thank you so much, I am glad you stopped by. I totally get the brain pictures thing, I always have them, but rarely can I execute them exactly the way they look in my mind…but I have fun trying!

  • margie Says:

    first, my big heavy vacuum gave me tennis elbow and we are not speaking to each other. when i would bend over to pick something up off the floor, which was always, my sister would laugh and say to the kids, look, mommy is vacuuming. i understand and get this post. totally.

    • Mrs. Mediocrity Says:

      you would think they could come up with something that works well and doesn’t break your back, or elbow! maybe we need a woman to invent it…

  • Marcie Says:

    Yes – it stinks when things that we depend upon break. made me smile and laugh!!!

  • the domestic fringe Says:

    Oh boy. You must have angered the appliance gods.

  • julochka Says:

    you see, this is the appliance gods telling you to stop vacuuming. or at least get a cleaning person to do it. but you’ve GOT to replace that iPod, you can’t be without an iPod. that’s like a physical impossibility. 🙂

  • Toni Says:

    I don’t have an iPod – don’t really want one. I do have a Dyson vacuum cleaner – the ANIMAL. It does a great job on the dog hair. The belt on it broke once because it swallowed something it shouldn’t have, but Dyson replaced it for free right away. I think it is fairly light weight. Or you could just trying replacing the belt. 🙂

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