reverb13: day 4
This post is part of Reverb 13:
Day 4: What have you lost, what are you grieving?
I sit in the dark of very early morning, pondering this question.
The truth is, I feel I have no right to answer.
The truth is, I feel blessed by the fact that I’ve lost so little. That I have so much.
Not material things, because the truth is, that is not at all where my wealth lies. When it comes to things, I have very little.
But when it comes to life, I am decidedly rich.
The truth is, I’ve yet to experience the kind of earth-shattering loss that will make me grieve for years. There have been a few bumps along the road, friends, and pets that I loved, truly. But all the people I am closest to, all the people I hold close in my heart are still here, in my life.
I could talk about other things I’ve lost, things like time and youth and innocence. But, no matter.
The truth is I am so glad to be here in this life, so happy to be alive, so in love with the beautiful mess that surrounds me, that I have no time to grieve small losses.
I know that someday, this will change. Someday my heart will be broken in ways I can only imagine. Someday there will be devastating losses. This is a truth I cannot escape.
But today, just now, I can only sit here in this chair, in front of this dark window facing east and wait for the sun to rise on another day, a perfectly boring ordinary day that I will do my best to cherish.
Today, just now, I’ve lost little. Regret almost nothing.
I am here.
And I will make that be enough.
In fact, it will be everything.