bits and pieces
I decided, the other day, that 2012 will be the year of discarding.
Letting go, relinquishing, dropping, hurling, setting free, releasing.
Words and tchotchkes, things and thoughts, pounds and insecurities. Worries and doubts, stuff and clutter, possibilities and promises. There is so much that I don’t need.
I want to sit here in this room surrounded by nothing, I want the quiet to seep into my skin, I want to be enveloped in space.
I need more room. Elbow room, breathing room, leg room, room to grow, a room with a view, living room, my own room.
My life is cluttered with things I don’t need, things I must have, things that replace other things. I want less, more or less. I want fewer things and more words. Less stuff and more substance. I want to hold nothing in my hand and watch it turn into something.
I want to give away everything I have and expect nothing in return. I want to build a tower of hope and climb all the way to the top. I want to let my hair down and run laughing through the forest. I want to live off the land and inhale the morning. I want to sing the sun to bed at night and whisper rhymes to the stars. I want to wrap my arms around the ocean.
I want nothing. All of it.
I want to find an empty place to curl into, a bowl, a pail, a vessel, something to float away in. I want to feel the air rushing at my face as I soar through clouds of forgiveness. I want to lie on my back in a meadow alone and let butterflies land on my nose.
I want to be still.
I want to be.