what I keep forgetting
Days go by, and despite all the times I’ve reminded myself how important it is to stop and smell the roses, I still forget to do it.
I get busy, distracted, bullied by time.
I start out each morning with the best of intentions. I will be mindful of the moments, savor them, revel in them. I will keep my head up, open to the world around me. I will be a better me. I will make sure to spend time with those I love. I will not waste time with worry, or frustration, or anger. I will live life to the fullest.
And some days, I pull it off. I manage to feel that way, at least part of the time. Others days, it is seven o’clock and I am still working,
I have worked all day without looking up, head down, mind wrapped in my own thoughts, what has to be done, how long I have left to do it, how much more I can accomplish before I go to bed. And then it is bedtime and I am too tired to do anything but stare at the ceiling for a few minutes before I drift off to sleep. Too tired to read, even. And I realize that another day has passed in which I forgot to remember…
To literally stop and smell the roses, or lilacs, or lilies, or any other flower that I happen to pass by.
To tell my husband that I love him, and that I appreciate the things he does, like buying groceries.
To take care of myself. To stop and listen to nothing but my own breathing. Even if it’s only for fifteen minutes.
To look up. Outward, outside of myself and the tunnel my brain lives in to see what is going on in the rest of the world.
To be thankful to be alive, grateful for everything I have, happy to be here, in this day, this hour, this moment.
To enjoy the simple things, like washing the dishes, sweeping the floor, meditating on life as I go through the motions.
To eat food that I love, food that is good for me, even if it takes a little longer to prepare.
To sing when my favorite song comes on the radio. To actually turn the radio on.
To connect with my children, even if it is only a text message that says “hello.” To let them know that I love them.
To check in with my parents and my friend who is 84, for no reason.
To find something beautiful, or the beauty in anything.
To forgive: life, myself, those I love, and those I don’t even know.
To focus more on living and less on doing.
To just be.
I just needed a little reminder.