this sucks. or rather,
Apparently I’ve done something to anger the appliance gods.
I’ve already mentioned a few times that I have 4 cats. And a dog. Which also means that I have lots of hair. Lots. Really, seriously, lots. As in I can’t go anywhere without checking my butt first….
So, I vacuum a lot. Pretty much every day.
I have a big vacuum. It weighs about 200 pounds. Okay that’s an exaggeration, but it is heavy. It’s a model made specifically for pet hair, with this cute little attachment that gets the stuff off your couch, chairs, butt, etc. When I first got it, I loved it. And it does a really good job, but it’s heavy and cumbersome and loud and all the animals hate it. Still, I lug it out once a week and move the furniture in search of hair balls and let me tell you…they are everywhere. And it takes me about two hours to find them all.
I used to sweep every day in between, which, by the way, is not at all effective against hairballs. Because they just dance around the broom and laugh at you. It’s true. I’ve heard them.
Then, about a year and a half ago, I came across the latest, greatest thing: a cordless stick vac. Now if you are not yet at a certain age, you probably don’t understand what it is to get jumping-up-and- down excited about an appliance. But all I can say is… just wait. You will.
And I fell in love with this one. This appliance literally changed my life. It was love at first use. Oh yeah, I said that. This little baby can zip around the whole house in 15 minutes, it doesn’t break my back, and it works almost as well as the big monster. (Except for edges and corners.) And so, my love affair began… I’ve used it every day for a year and a half. Fifteen minutes to a cleaner house (in my “good enough” kind of way)… and swooning I was, swooning.
I still get the big monster out once a week. Last Sunday, just as I was finishing up, I started to smell burning rubber. It was bad. And then, right there before my eyes, the monster ceased to function. I cursed, took it apart, couldn’t see a problem, tried again, cursed some more. Nothing. Except burning rubber.
I said, “Okay, Mr. M., time for a new vacuum.” Thinking I could tide myself over with my little friend until I get a new one. But then it happened. Yesterday, sniff, sniff… my favorite appliance of all time stopped working as well. Again, took it apart. Again, nothing. My heart…er, hoover, is broken.
Stellaaaaaa! I mean, Hooverrrrrrr!
And this is the part where I also have to mention that in between the Death of Two Vacuum Cleaners, three light bulbs blew, my ipod stopped working, and now my thermostat is on the fritz.
What is going on around here? What have I done to so anger the appliance gods? I treated them with kindness. I charge the batteries religiously. I clean the filters. I put them away after every use. Oh, what have I done?
I’m not sure, but as my mom would say, (and pardon my French):
“That’s enough to piss off the Good Humor man.”