Nov 11 2010

my mind’s eye

Oh my. I made it. I am there. There as in ready for my last two jewelry shows of the year, but in a bigger and better sense, there without the usual nervous breakdown that comes with getting ready for a show, which in this case is two shows, back to back weekends, three days each.

I keep asking myself why I’m not freaking out more, why I’m not in tears they way I was for our last show, why I feel so calm, so centered.

Maybe it’s not such a good idea to ask too many questions. Maybe it would be better to just say thank you and smile and feel the serenity that is resting at my core. And I’m doing that, I am. Really.

But I can’t help but wonder. I’m curious, that has always been the case, I am always questioning this or that or trying to figure out the why or the how or the what if. I think that’s a good thing.

And I’m glad, so glad that there are no tears and no frenzied mind and no complaining. This time, it all feels okay.

And I’m just going to let my mind sit there in this okay place, because it’s a much better place than before.

I’m going to enjoy this feeling of balance, I’m going to linger here in this light, this calm.

I know it won’t last, don’t think I am silly. Tomorrow, or the next day, or the next, I will be hounded by my list and by overwhelm and by life.

But today, there is just this frost on a dry hydrangea blossom left on a bush in my garden.

Today that is all I need to make me smile.

That’s where I am right now.

I like that.