front and center

I’ve been thinking so hard lately that my brain hurts. Thoughts swirl around in my head until all I can hear is the howl of wind. I wish I could say that I’ve been thinking about something profound, but, no, just ordinary, everyday, very mediocre things.

Of course, there has been a lot to think about with all that is going on in the world. And while that has all been added to the mix, most of what’s been swirling around inside my brain is internal, what I should, or should not, be doing with my life kind of stuff.

It feels like one long experiment.

Of course, that is not necessarily a bad thing, it is precisely that constant change that keeps us on our toes. But you can only stand on tiptoe for just so long before your muscles start to ache. A little stability would be nice, I’m thinking. Perhaps some alignment would be good.

The other day, as I was whining to myself, it occurred to me that I have it all wrong. That no one, nowhere, ever said it would be easy. Or if they did, they were talking out both sides of their mouth. It wasn’t so long ago, in the history of man, that day to day life was simply a matter of survival. That all our time was spent hunting, gathering, defending, surviving. In fact, for some of us on this earth right now, that it still the way of it.

There is no easy button. We keep trying to find one, though. I see it everyday, everywhere around me, people searching for the magic that will make life perfect, or meaningful, or safe, or continuously happy.

But it doesn’t exist. Nothing will ever make every single moment of life perfect. There will always be bouts of wind and hail and sleet and rain to batter you as you try to put down roots, stand tall, keep growing. There may even be the occasional flood, or blizzard, or tornado. Those are the moments when you hang on for dear life, and if you make it through, when they are over, you are grateful just to be alive.

You straighten up, stand tall, reach for the sky.

Because the simple truth is that life is hard.

But also, it’s beautiful.




13 Responses to “front and center”

  • roberta Says:

    Reminds me of the line in the movie “Moonstruck” where Cher slaps Nicholas Cage and says “snap out of it!”

    Thanks, I needed the slap.

  • Michael Says:

    Life is hard and beautiful, but we are in it together, hanging on for dear life, which looks sort of like a hug.

  • M.A. Brotherton Says:

    I’ve been in a pretty similar place lately. I’ve been going through a lot of things in my head and telling myself it’s time to get serious about something, anything.

    But, then, maybe I am serious about the not settling.

    Thanks, for this. I needed a bit of a reminder that it’s okay to not have a set direction.

  • Cheryl Says:

    Lately, I’ve just been referring to “what I’m doing right now.” Like, this is a period of time when I’m doing this, and I can learn things by doing this that I could learn no other way, and whatever happens, I’ll use it and build on it and do whatever is next. So it’s not about what I do with my life or a 25 year plan or what will happen when I’m old or if the economy collapses. Just, this is what I’m doing now. I have hopes in multiple directions from here, and I’ll use what I learn to try to reach for them from here, but there is no destination, only this moment and (hopefully) the next. We can wish 5 steps ahead, dream 4 steps ahead, hope 3 steps ahead, plan 2 steps ahead, try something now, and be, always, at the foundation. I still love you.

  • Marcie Says:

    Amen to that!!!

  • missing moments Says:

    I tend to believe that we must have rough patches, troubled times because otherwise, how would we recognize the good times????

  • Brandee Says:

    I find that planning just never seems to work. I suppose that I’m a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants sort of girl. I am learning to like this never-ending experiment, and I’m grateful to people like you that allow me to stop and look around once in a while.

  • Kathryn Dyche Dechairo Says:

    Aaaah this thing called life. I’m so in love with that image. I find myself drawn to it in a major way.

  • Pat Byers (Tilda) Says:

    i always come to read, whether you think or whether you don’t think, but always that you write about it. direction? yes, we need direction. but we must always remember it is never our control. others figure into that control. i sometimes stand firm and will not be pushed…but then that thing i cannot control at all, pushes harder and i fall. i fail. i lose. but most days i just get back up. sometimes it takes months before i get back up. but i do get back up.
    in my fondest of thought, tilda

  • Jannie Funster Says:

    Yep, it’s super-beautiful. That’s my story and I’ll be sticking to it! 🙂


  • beth Says:

    isn’t it funny how the beauty of our lives, well the beauty of being alive and living, often makes us forget what isn’t feeling right on any given day….xoxo

  • Frida Says:

    Like my story, the beauty of life.

  • wholly jeanne Says:

    well, i’m still twirling around asking for a sign. i tell myself to snap out of it, but my self doesn’t listen. just keeps on looking for a sign of what i’m suppose to choose, what i’m supposed to be doing.

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