the greeter
this place is crowded
standing room only
and they just keep coming
d
o
w
n
that one way ladder
forcing everyone to slither
sideways to make more room
some people slink along
slow and quiet and try to
melt away into the crowd
others come kicking and
screaming gathering handfuls
of splinters as they go
and some even take a
flying leap assuming
someone else will break
their fall
(i’ve seen that and it ain’t
pretty) while
i stand just left
of the bottom rung
handing out flyers
all prettied up and
professionally designed
saying
welcome to utopia
we’ve got 397
flavors and
they’re all called
vanilla
May 8th, 2012 at 9:05 am
oh my god. you are reading my mind. imma fixin’ to email you.
May 8th, 2012 at 9:13 am
Wonderful. Yes, I always thought Utopia would be “down there”.
May 8th, 2012 at 9:20 am
Wow. Awesome. I love how fast this reads speed wise…it rolls off the tongue . LOVE it.
May 8th, 2012 at 9:27 am
This put a huge smile on my face
May 8th, 2012 at 10:03 am
Oh yes!
May 8th, 2012 at 10:21 am
Great post!
May 8th, 2012 at 10:52 am
good writing Mrs M.
as always, of course.
in fondest, Tilda
May 8th, 2012 at 11:14 am
There’s room for me, right? I like your brand of utopia.
May 8th, 2012 at 11:36 am
NOOOOOOOO! oy i dont want that utopia…too crowded and way too bland…can i bring some fruit to mash in the vanilla please?
love all the S allit….and wicked flow ma’am….
May 8th, 2012 at 11:36 am
This one’s going to haunt me: how will I make my descent or did I already? If I did already will one of the flying leap people land on me? Also, will I be stuck forever as the one helping remove splinters and bandaging the wounded? Utopian idealism has always frightened me. Fantastic poem and that picture is incredible.
May 8th, 2012 at 1:48 pm
I willingly chose the down direction, and sometimes, the thought occurs to me, that if the responsibility of choosing and decision making could all be cooked up in a pot and called vanilla, I could live with that 😉 Loving where you’ve got my mind tripping 🙂
May 8th, 2012 at 3:22 pm
my utopia is pictured very differently. i think in that utopia just my arrival would spice things up and we’d make room to dance. the hustle. everyone knows the hustle.
May 8th, 2012 at 3:27 pm
Now you’ve got my ticking- so many great ways this could be interpreted….utopia- ‘an imagined place where everything is perfect’….a place everyone wants to be- but if everything is perfect- why do some people have to kick and scream about it and make themselves known- whilst others just slip slide into the background….you got me thinking ….hmmmm….really enjoyed the form and the flow…maybe if you get time- drop me the backstory at stu_mcp@hotmail.com or on f-book/twitter whatever- I THINK I have an inkling…..maybe…just maybe….and if I’m right….then high gives to you!
May 8th, 2012 at 3:36 pm
Loved his this reads–it just speeds along–and such a great ending–thank you!
May 8th, 2012 at 3:38 pm
Love the zinger at the end!
May 8th, 2012 at 3:40 pm
ok, i’m really weird, but i was trying to imagine this scene in the middle of a fire rescue….people climbing down, someone handing out fliers. of course, a fire rescue hell…similar environments, i just got a bit monty pythonish on the visuals…
May 8th, 2012 at 4:50 pm
Oh, it sounds like hell to me. 🙂 Nice visuals.
May 8th, 2012 at 5:04 pm
Dystopian poetry at it’s finest–and a clear and clean voice to tell it. Last lines rule, but it’s all good.
May 8th, 2012 at 5:52 pm
“welcome to utopia
we’ve got 397
flavors and
they’re all called
vanilla”
Wow, that closer is amazing! Great poem, strong imagery.
May 8th, 2012 at 6:22 pm
Wow.
You’re brilliant. Do I say that often enough?
May 8th, 2012 at 7:22 pm
Good one! Argh, I don’t like greeters. Nice vanilla twist at the end.
May 8th, 2012 at 7:47 pm
🙂 great write 🙂
May 8th, 2012 at 7:50 pm
“welcome to utopia
we’ve got 397
flavors and
they’re all called
vanilla”
Loved that last part. Maybe because I’m quite partial to vanilla? haha Well done!
May 8th, 2012 at 10:12 pm
Hmmm…
“…we’ve got 397
flavors and
they’re all called
vanilla”
Quite the interesting thoughts on Utopia. Standing room only by the sounds of it. Clever writing.
May 8th, 2012 at 11:00 pm
Oooh – this just sings/zings along before dumping the reader off on the floor upside down and sideways; just bloody brilliant …
http://leapinelephants.blogspot.ca/2012/05/no-more-than-bird-with-piercing-voice.html
May 9th, 2012 at 12:24 am
Ha! This reminds me a bit of A Night At the Opera! (Only there every flavor was tutti-frutti!) Well done. k.
May 9th, 2012 at 1:44 am
somehow this reminded me of henry ford who said something like..they can have their car in any color as long as it’s black..or something this direction..your closure made me smile…can be read in different ways and often i think we’re just going down the wrong stairs..and in the end…all we get is vanilla anyway…ha
May 9th, 2012 at 1:47 am
Fascinating, well-written, and that last line really delivers a punch.
May 9th, 2012 at 6:13 pm
This is a good one – just flows of the tongue!
Anna :o]
May 10th, 2012 at 9:25 pm
I’m scared in that good kind of way, the way that shakes your marbles and makes you think.
May 16th, 2012 at 2:53 pm
I’m loving your photos and words.
Yes, loving them.